What attacks or trials have you faced lately? What or whom have you relied upon during these difficult times?

Since 9/11/01 we have thought a lot differently about our country and worldwide matters. However, in reality, we know that as Christians we battle one main terrorist. He walks about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. (1 Peter 5:8) Everyone faces various trials with which Satan delights to see us struggle. Our main concern in these attacks is to rely upon God's sufficiency to carry us through them. Romans 8:37 states, "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us."

I don't know the various trials in your life; however, I would like to share the trials God has used in my life to try me and teach me of His sufficiency.

First, I'll share a little bit of my background. I grew up in a Christian home and was saved at age 11 at a local Bible-believing, fundamental church. My parents sent me to a Christian school at the age of 16, and it was during my junior year in high school that I met my husband-to-be. Mike Hadley was a sophomore at Bob Jones University, majoring in business management. We were married in August of 1979. Mike finished his degree in 1980. He was then offered a position in the business office at Bob Jones University. I had wanted to work at BJU when he was a student, and now God opened the door for me to be a part of this ministry as well. I was hired in April of 1980. The Lord blessed us with two children-- a daughter in 1983 and a son in 1986.

My life changed drastically in July 1991 when my husband contracted cancer (SNC lymphoma). I would not have chosen this path, but the Lord did. (This only happens to other people, right?) Reality struck and Mike was flown to Nashville, Tennessee where he underwent an aggressive regimen for his condition. Without the regimen he was given a 20% chance for a 2 year survival; with the regimen he was given a 50% chance for a 5 year survival.

Acts 20:24 was on our daily calendar. It read, "But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy...." A quote under that verse said, "One individual life may be of priceless value to God's purposes, and yours may be that life." Mike and I had peace that God would do what was best. However, neither one of us had peace that he would be healed. He was a good testimony of God's grace through his four surgeries, chemotherapy treatments, and pain that he endured. Job 13:15 states, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him:"

Ron Hamilton's song, Rejoice in the Lord, was a comfort to us during this difficult time. Mike said that he was "shooting for the gold." As Ron Hamilton's song says, "for when I am tried and purified, I shall come forth as gold." I could not imagine life without Mike and it seemed my life was crumbling before me. We were in the middle of totally renovating our older home as well. You can imagine the questions that flooded my mind, but I had to "bring all my thoughts into captivity" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and trust that God was in control. His sufficiency is enough! Mike went home to be with the Lord on November 10, 1991. By God's providence, Ron Hamilton sang at Mike's funeral.

I had begun a new path of widowhood. The Terrorist (Satan) reveled in the fact that I was confused with life's pathway and where it would lead me. How would I be able to rear my children? How would I make ends meet? After Mike's home going, I remember sitting at my kitchen table and hearing a voice say, "Be still and know that I am God." God was meeting my need. How many times had my husband tried to settle me down when things weren't going well? God was showing me that He would be a husband to me. He is greater than any man could ever be. Isaiah 54:5 says, "For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall He be called." God would be my children's Heavenly Father and my Judge as Psalm 68:5 states. The loving people at BJU and Hampton Park Baptist Church finished the renovations on our house. Throughout these past 10 1/2 years several men from the church have helped to mentor my son, Kevin. Once again God was teaching me that He is sufficient!

Another terrorist attack occurred in 1993. Kevin was failing second grade. My life seemed to crumble again. The awesome responsibility of not knowing what to do was great and I cried out to the Lord. I didn't know how to help Kevin with his learning needs. I tried summer school, reading programs, tutoring and medication. None of these gave him the help he truly needed. After testing and meeting with the principal and Kevin's teacher, it was decided that Hidden Treasure Christian School, a ministry of special education, would be the best place for him. Dr. John McCormick, the administrator, called a few days before the second semester started and assured me that there would be an opening for Kevin. It was an answer to prayer. Once again God was teaching me of His sufficiency. John 14:13 says, "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son."

In 1994 I decided to pursue a four-year degree in office administration. I took one or two classes each semester and was able to keep my part-time position at BJU. Seven years later I graduated with my daughter. Amy graduated from Bob Jones Academy and I graduated from BJU in 2001. God's sufficiency was evident by providing me with the ability and strength to finish the task. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

In 2000 I made a major decision to sell our home, the home that my husband had designed the renovations on and begun to completely renovate. It was a decision that was surprisingly easy considering how much the house meant to us. I asked myself where I wanted to be when the children were gone. The Lord enabled me to buy property in a nice subdivision near our church and to build a home. We moved in April 2001 and are so thankful to be there. God's sufficiency was very evident in this as well. When the house was finished, everything was paid for. I asked my builder how we did that. He said with the good Lord and a good builder! Philippians 4:19 says, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

Yet another terrorist attack occurred in my life the spring I was to graduate from BJU. This seemed to be the hardest yet as my health was taken from me. Losing my health had been one of my greatest fears. I was fearful that I would not be able to function as a mother and support my family.

I developed arthritic symptoms and a rash. My doctor thought this rash could be an allergic reaction to an antibiotic she had prescribed for me. I was out of work for about a week. I didn't know if I would be well enough for Amy's graduation, let alone mine. The Lord provided some strength and I was able to return to work to finish the spring semester. With the help of my parents I prepared for my daughter's graduation. In fact, I was able to walk across the platform on graduation day.

The rash was still present, but I kept on going. I was looking forward to a wonderful summer, planning to "smell the roses" since I didn't have any class work to do. I visited my sister at the end of June and was having problems walking then. At the end of July Amy and I went on our church's mission trip to New York City and I was having further difficulty walking. I had been to a rheumatoid specialist who diagnosed me with arthritis. I returned to work around the middle of August, and was gradually getting worse. The doctor's office called to tell me that I had lupus. I could not believe my ears and was in a quandary as to what my future held. However, as Mike and I would always say, "We do not know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future."

My parents had gone out west for a trip with my aunt and uncle, but turned around and traveled back to take care me. I was so thankful to see them. I developed a fever and had lost 15 pounds. I was able to see the doctor, and after blood work was done on September 11, 2001, I was hospitalized immediately. My blood pressure was 80 over 60 and my white blood cell count was 1.9. I was so weak. The doctor had me taking strong medication to try and revive me. I had a bone marrow biopsy done and thank the Lord it was negative. They had placed me on the oncology floor, and I am thankful that I did not realize this at the time. I was able to go home the following Sunday and was so grateful to be in my own bed again. However, I seemed to worsen instead of improve. I actually had to work to get out of bed in the morning. I would wash my hair and have to rest. Then I could put on my makeup. Then I had to rest before I could dress. I could hardly walk and definitely could not negotiate stairs. I thought for sure that I would need to apply for disability benefits. Once again God was teaching me the truth of 2 Corinthians 3:5: "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God." It was up to God for my future and for the children's future. He would provide and take care as He saw best. I had to give myself over to Him completely.

In addition to my lupus symptoms, I developed medicinally induced mania. I have never in my life experienced such fearfulness and confusion. I had no idea medication could be so strong. It is wonderful to have Christian friends and family members praying for God's mercy and grace during these trying times. My children handled it so well. Amy was such a great comfort and was there to meet my needs as best as she knew how. Sacred music helped to calm my soul as well as quoting and reading the Scripture. Those were difficult times. The Lord enabled me to return to work part-time on November 12, 2001.

Another Terrorist attack occurred when my financial situation changed drastically. Since my husband's death I had received money to support the children, however, my daughter's benefit was discontinued when she became 18 and my son's benefit was reduced when he turned 16. Now I needed to begin working full-time and our net income would still be quite a bit less than it had been. How would I have strength to work full-time and how would I be able to make it on less income? Once again I would need to depend on God to provide our needs. Matthew 6:31 and 33 says, "Therefore, take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." God has worked out my full-time employment by giving me strength and opening up positions beyond my imagination. My son was recently re-tested and accepted into Bob Jones Academy. The tuition is graciously paid for; once again, my sufficiency is of God!

Our most recent Terrorist attack occurred on Good Friday, 2002. My car was totaled in an accident. Although thankfully no one was seriously injured, once again, I did not understand why this had to happen. I was driving a 1999 Buick and it was a nice, dependable car. We have a widow's help program (New Horizons) in our church, which is such a blessing to me. Because of this program, I was able to call upon one of the men in our church to act on my behalf in negotiations with the insurance adjuster. At first the adjuster was offering $12,250 for my car which was in great condition. Once again God did the impossible by allowing me to receive an even bigger settlement than the man from my church negotiated. He had raised the amount to $12,700 plus tax. The insurance company issued a check for $14,100! We are now driving a 2002 Buick.